Track Training Tips No. 46
Key Steps to being Assertive
Assertiveness means “standing up for your rights in such a way that also enables others to stand up for their rights”. With the experience of designing and delivering literally scores of ‘Assertiveness’ workshops for a wide variety of customers, I am sure that many people who think they are assertive – are actually not.
So, here are some key steps to being assertive:
1. Recognise that there are three basic behavioural styles – submissive, assertive and aggressive
2. And crucially, that behaviour is a choice, even when it feels like it might not be
3. Learn to recognise the differences – being  Assertive is about looking for ‘win/win’ outcomes, standing up for your rights, being consistent 
4. Do not be afraid to ask for what you want, Accurately, Briefly and Clearly
5. If necessary repeat your request to ensure that the other person understands your needs and wishes
6. Look for areas of agreement and be prepared to compromise where you can
7. Stick to measurable, observable facts and outcomes, do not make it personal –  this will lead to conflict 
8. Look for small wins to start with – if you have previously been rather submissive do not try and learn the new techniques with the office bully!
9. This is about changing your behaviour – be clear as to the reasons for your change and the outcomes that you wish to achieve – keep coming back to them when the going gets tough
10. If at first you don’t succeed … 
Links to workshops:
Communicating with Confidence
How to be Assertive
For further information and business support contact Dave Chesters on 01785 823583 or take a look at our website  
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